The never-ending IM farewell

Back to the subject of digital communication as a proxy for real-world interactions – this time, the never-ending farewells when you IM.

If you’re like me, your IMs end this way:

- well, I’m kinda late for the opera. Gotta go.
- ok, cu tmw!
- Sure. Looking forward.
- bye
- ciao
- ttyl
- later!
- xoxo
- xoxoxoxo
- bye

At this point you stare at the IM window, wondering if it’s rude to close the window, and whether we’re done saying our goodbyes. There’s no sense of closure, just a feeling that the chat session ended abruptly, even though you’ve spent the last two minutes of it trying to end it.

In real life we have clear cues for when a conversation is over. It’s usually when you turn your back and/or walk away from the other person. Try saying goodbye to a person without moving away – it’s awkward, like there’s something still to be said. It’s like the awkwardness saying goodbye while exiting a restaurant, only to discover that the other person is walking to the same subway station as you are.

On the phone, we have the hang up. There’s a whole protocol for ending a phone call: summarizing what has been said, reiterating future programs, obligatory niceties, and finally the ‘bye’. It’s feels awkward to me to end a phone call without exchanging goodbyes. I know that some people do it – just watch any episode of ‘Entourage’ – but that’s Hollywood talk. I need my goodbye. I need closure.

SO HERE is what I propose – a universal symbol that is the equivalent of the walking away and the hangup. A digital gesture that means “this is the end of this communication. There will be no more conversing after this”.

My proposed symbol is (drumroll):

//

With //, the above exchange would now be:

- well, I’m kinda late for the opera. Gotta go.
- ok, cu tmw!
- Sure. Looking forward.
- bye! //

That’s a 60% saving! Just imagine the ramifications on the world’s economy if this sign is universally adopted.

I’ve been testing this symbol lately in my IMs, and lo and behold, it works. Not one IMee ever continued blabbering after //. There’s something about it that is intuitively legible.

So spread the word, and save us from never-ending IMs!

//